Home is Where the Heart IS

I've been binge watching season seven of one of my favorite shows, "Once Upon a Time," an ABC show about our most beloved fairy tales in their most twisted forms. The show plays on the love of our childhood heroes, but in their most "unDisney" forms as they search for their real, happy endings. 

As I am coming to a close on my time here in Haiti, I have been considering my future in great detail. Everybody keeps asking me what I want to do next. Where do I want to go next? What will I do? How will I continue on? Sometimes the answers seem simple, and sometimes a bit more complicated. I don't think I know exactly what I want, or where I'll go, but I know that I'm not keen on searching for "home" any longer. My favorite line from "Once  Upon a Time," is this: "Home isn't a place. It's where your family is."

Every day, I realize that all I've ever wanted was to travel the world and to help people. I wasn't sure why or how and I couldn't understand why it seemed like I was running more than I was growing. Home has never felt like home should, and maybe it's because I was always looking for the wrong things.

When I was in Beacon, I missed Peekskill, but when I left for college in Virginia, I missed New York. When I moved to Georgia, I wasn't sure if I missed New York or Virginia more. Slowly but surely, my family began to move to Georgia and everything felt right again, even though I've never really called Georgia my home. Now, living in Haiti, I tend to think about Georgia every day and my mother asked me if I miss home. Of course I do, but not the literal home that everybody keeps referring to. I miss kisses from my father and laying in bed with my mom. I miss visiting my grandmother and Poppy and the annoying "Hey Squirt," from my brother. I miss the deadly eye rolls from my best friend and the shared task of cooking each other dinner. I miss falling asleep in other peoples' beds when I have had a long day. "Home isn't a place. It's where your family is." I miss home, yes, but not my house... or any of my houses, rather. Home is always with me. It has always been present in my life and I'm never too far away.

Things are starting to become more clear for me. I don't feel afraid to walk into my destiny. I don't feel worried about the future. I know that wherever I end up, I'll always be home.

Leaving Haiti means leaving home too. I have built a life and a family here. There are people that love, value and cherish me and people that I have grown to love too. There are people here and experiences here who have changed my life forever. For that, I am eternally grateful. My short amount of time here has showed me so much, and even if I don't make it back as soon as I would like, I'll always be home. Home will always be here. 

Home will always be amongst those who believe in us the most. Home will stay in our hearts. I'm not really sure exactly where I go with my writings sometimes. I get all lost in my head and my words lose their way, but what I'm trying to say is simple... I think.

Be patient. Respect the ones you love. Don't waste your years being afraid to take chances because you're afraid to miss home. Go! Live! Keep in mind that no matter how far you go in this world or in life, home will always be in your heart. "Home isn't a place. It's where your family is." I'm not sure what's next for me. I'm not sure where God will lead me or where life will take me, but I know I'll always carry the most important parts of me, with me. Be at peace, not in pieces. Happy holidays, to you, your family, and your heart.

Safe at Home,
Née :-*