the World Is Not Universal

PSA: First things first, I am writing every day but cannot post every day as much as I would like to. I will not be able to get on social media and say something every day, but I will do what I can, when I can. I promised photo and video, so that will happen when it is possible to do so. So please, check back from time to time. Subscribe. Journey with me! Now, let's get started! Oh, oh, and all the pictures and videos do not go along exactly with what I am writing. I can take videos more easily than I can post updates. We all have to deal with it. 

There’s a couple of things that I’ve noticed since I’ve been in Haiti. Some of which I completely love. For one, women here do not seem to value American standards of beauty. Although that seems obvious, let me explain. Women in Haiti are not all well shaved and well groomed. ​Many wear hair under their arms with pride and rock spaghetti straps at the same time. What in the “we don’t care about the unpopular opinions placed on us by men’s desires” is going on here? This is the type of freedom I desire. I too want to look in the mirror, with or without my hair and eyebrows done, and say “Girl, you’re so beautiful.” I desire to throw on a dress with my 

legs unshaved and prance around the city. Forget you if you think that thought is gross. I simply don't care. I simply shouldn't have to.

I started shaving in sixth grade; not because I was taught how to, but because the white girls in my gym class were complaining about the blonde hairs growing back on their pale legs. When I looked down and saw dark hairs on my light skin, I became more insecure than I can ever remember feeling. That feeling of insecurity trumped messy eyebrows, my chunky arms, being bigger than my friends, and everything else. I taught myself that hair is disgusting because of a conversation I overheard in gym class. How dare I. And how dare men for chiming in with their two cents as if hairy chests and backs are desirable. Please, do not talk about my weight, my body, my hair, etc. Ugh! The future is female. The world has always been female, but we’ve been too afraid to claim what is ours and to make decisions for us and only us. We have spent too much time critiquing each other instead of taking the world by force, instead of loving ourselves and one another. We’ll fix that. I'll start now!
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​Since it is only my second day here, I have had plenty of time to do absolutely nothing. I have only left the house once, to walk around the corner, and back. I have had 24 hours to relic in extreme simplicity. I have learned to appreciate luxuries like air conditioning, running water, and electricity. I have found peace in not being able to use my phone all day. In fact, I got a Haitian sim card today, so I have a brand new number. Nobody could call me even if they wanted to. It feels good to be detached. I have had the chance to read, to write, to journal, to draw and to think. I have had time to play computer games with Christie and play soccer outside with Theo. I have had the chance to watch Christie dance and to do language lessons with Betty. It feels good to need so little from the outside world. Don’t get me wrong though. It is still hard. Beautiful, but difficult. I am constantly sweating and I would really love to call my mom and tell her that things are well here. It’s all going to take some getting used to.
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​I love that we eat our biggest meals in the middle of the day. We do not eat dinner and head to sleep, but we eat supper for lunch and have time to work it off, or not. At night, there is an option of having a light meal if we are not still full from lunch. ​It’s only been two days, but I already feel like I am eating less and eating better. The meals are portioned and I have less opportunity here to snack on garbage. The food 

is fresh and unprocessed. It is so hot that I am yearning water over tea or juice, and luckily for me, those options are not readily available anyways. So, less sugar, smaller portion sizes and controlled meal times. This is the type of control I have been pretending that I had back home. I am determined to be active and to lose some weight while I’m here. It takes 21 days to form a habit. I’ll be here for six months. Johanne says that we will start working out. I am actually excited. Maybe she and I can conquer 6:00 workouts every morning! Ziaa says we’ll be twins if I come home skinny and black. (I had to throw that in there because I literally LOLd when she said it… and I’m laughing again now!)

​My “job” here is different too. I am on a small team. I do not work for a large company who benefits from the labor of its workers. No, I do not get paid for what I do here. I actually pay to do the work that I have been sent by God to do. In America, I feel like an individual. In Haiti, I feel like I am working as part of a whole. My thoughts regarding important issues in the organization are important. It is up to me to take note and state my opinion. I am here to learn and to help. This is different than any company I have ever worked for and it too feels good.

Jhoanne and I have plenty of time to speak as well. We talk about everything from the children to politics and religion, to education, to love, to travel, to growing up in Haiti versus America. It amazes me how people only choose to see the danger and ugliness of this country. It is crazy to me how people are still seeking refuge in America, “The Land of the Free,” but it is a poor country in so many ways. I am thrilled that I get to show Haiti in another light as it deserves. There will be no more slandering the nation of high mountains. You may have to see it for yourself, but trust me; This place is beautiful.

Here are today’s thoughts. May you receive them well. May God bless you, always. Thanks for journeying with me.

Love, Nee