Happy Tuesday Fam!
I'm so glad you're all here! I've been absent for a couple of months, but I've been spending some time figuring out what is most important to me, what I want and need for myself and how to familiarize myself with the state of happiness.
I’ve started writing this post and several others, plenty of times. I’ve thought about and jotted down everything I wanted to say in different notepads and notebooks. I’ve created documents that just didn’t make the cut. Now, I think I’m ready.
I’ve been home from Haiti for about four months now and my life just hasn’t been the same. At first, I thought because I was doing something wrong... life I guess. It was easier for me to adjust to life in Haiti than it was for me to adjust back to home life in America. I realized that I had been changed as a person. I am better than who I was, so trying to fit myself back into my old box of standards wasn’t working. It still isn't. My morals, ideals, mindset and goals have all changed and don't necessarily align with my old life. In some aspects, that's considered growth. However, for an overachiever who always has a plan, I've felt stuck and I've been wallowing in this weird state of uncertainty, feeling like life has gone on without me. I'm not quite sure how to catch back up or where to go from here. I'm trying though.
When I first got home, I needed to free my mind and re-evaluate some things in my life, so I took a road trip up north. I hadn’t been “home” in over two years and I had plenty of people who had been on my mind. I wanted to see my uncle, who is battling a disease and I wanted to see a woman who has been like another mother to me for years now. I wanted to see my cousins and their children and catch up with old friends. I wanted to drive around and visit my old job and places I used to frequent. So I did.
I caught up with everybody on my list. “Home” didn’t feel the same. I outgrew it I guess. All of my friends weren’t around and all of my family wasn’t there either. I did catch up with some amazing people in my life and I surprised those who watched me grow up. That was special and much needed. I was looking for inspiration.
In New York, I spent time with my first grade teacher, Ms. Holloman, and did some volunteer work. We had a nice dinner at a local spot. I visited Homespun and had hot chocolate with Chris and Jess. They were my first employers that really gave me a shot and encouraged me. I got drinks with my girls at Dallas BBQs, my favorite restaurant. I ran errands with Destiny and I spent quality time with Hype. I stayed a couple of nights with my cousins and saw all of my aunts and uncles. I had dinner with my sister and niece and got her a really nice birthday gift for her 9th birthday.
In Virginia, I stayed for a week in a really quaint and comfortable AirBnb. I went to Hampton and saw Jon and Mama Glo, two of my favorite people on Earth. I ate great food and celebrated Corey’s 30th birthday. The 90s themed party was a HIT and Charniecce’s turkey meatballs were ON POINT! Of course, I bonded with my baby girls and my heart was full.
I stayed a couple of nights in New Jersey, I got cheese steaks with Aquil in Philadelphia, I stayed the night at my best friend’s house in DC and finally met his girlfriend... I like her. His mom brought us Chinese food. I hung out with my cousins, aunts and uncles in North Carolina and spent time with Bryce. It was an unusual trip, but a blessing of a trip. Necessary to learn some things about myself.
When I arrived back home, a couple of weeks later, I went back to Kiddos and started a new position as a paraprofessional in the Atlanta Public Schools system. I’m currently working in a special education classroom with young boys with emotional and behavioral disorders. It’s trying. They’re testing me, but I enjoy what I do.
Ziaa and I spent a week in Los Angeles with my long lost brother cousin, Derek and acted like complete tourists. We never get a real chance to do that, but we ate, toured around, got massages and rested. Much needed.
My uncle passed away, so I went back to New York for a week. Currently, I'm in Connecticut, bonding with my best friend's extended family for the first time in my life.
I’ve been going to non profit workshops and presenting. I’m working college fairs and preparing presentations on Haiti. I’ve been busy. I don’t really have an excuse to not keep up with my posts, except for that I’ve been living and grappling with mild depression. I hope your 2019 is going well. I pray that you have been blessed. I pray that you’re traveling and walking through doors of opportunity. Things are looking up.
See you next time,
Living and Learning...
features updates, sponsorship news, promotions, etc. that relate to the #IPLEDGEHOPE Campaign and my relocation to Haiti.